A few years ago, our preacher gave an incredible sermon, in which he gave the following definitions:
Justice is getting what you deserve.
Mercy is not getting what you deserve.
Grace is getting what you don't deserve.
I have not been having much success with my interpersonal relationships of late. In the past couple of weeks, I've tiffed with my best friend (this is so rare, it's noteworthy). I've hurt another friend's feelings by acting impulsively (though my intentions were good, they weren't well thought-out). Yet another person (in the cyberworld) stopped being my "friend", because I stood up to her about a REAL friend of mine. I seem to be having a hard time staying in-balance with those around me. It's incredibly frustrating.
Yet.
I'm working to view this challenging time as a learning opportunity.
It has been pointed out to me by many people that I could easily benefit by calming down. "CTFO" is my new personal motto (chill the f**k out). Friends have offered suggestions on how to measure situations against the grand scheme to see if things are worth getting upset over (usually, they're not).
It is my sincere hope and goal that I can learn to take more things in stride and be a calmer, more mellow person. I feel that if I can achieve that, then I will be a better friend. I will be able to think through things before blurting out words that I cannot take back. I can put myself in other peoples' shoes and see things through their eyes. I can be the friend - not that I would like to have - but rather, that my friends would like to have.
How does all of this relate to the sermon? Easy.
In the past, I think, I was quick to administer justice. If someone did something I didn't agree with, I was more than eager to give them what they deserved. Of course, in my own life, I would always hope for mercy.....I didn't want to be held accountable for my wrongs along the way. Who does?
Now, I want it to be all about grace. I want to be strong and mature enough to give those around me the kindness and compassion they may not deserve, but need. It's amazing how that grace can manifest itself. Grace may come in the form of biting my tongue, standing up for someone, listening without judging, or just being there in a time of need.
At the end of the day, it's easy to dole out justice, but it's so much more satisfying to offer grace.
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3 comments:
Very well said. Grace is powerful and surprising and tends to sneak up on us. Calming down when upset and angry is hard to do, especially since what's really going on most of the time is inside ourselves, spilling out into another interaction. Give it time to become second nature.
Very well said. Giving grace takes practice. However, in the end everyone is usually better off for it.
Very well said. I wish I was as mature as you are. I tend to pop off when someone grinds my gears. The older I get, the easier it becomes to tell people off, because I've lost the "fear" of them telling on me to a friend, boss, coworker, or Mom. I could use a little more grace myself.
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