Great Expectations

I've been thinking a lot lately about expectations. Expectations I have of myself. Expectations I have of others. Expectations I have of situations. Expectations in general.

I have always thought that, if we communicate our expectations to others, then they will invariably strive to meet those expectations. For example - I *expect* others to treat each other well and with kindness, as that is how I try to always treat others. I'm not perfect - I fail occasionally - but I do make a concerted effort to live by the proverbial "Golden Rule".

Lately, however, I've been finding myself disappointed. There are people that surround me.......personally, professionally, and everywhere in between.......that continually miss the mark when it comes to what I expect of them. It's not huge things....an unreturned phone call, not doing what I've asked of them at work, being blatantly rude to me at the pool where I live (but that's a whole other blog!). It's always been easy for me to take these infractions very personally.

However...

It occurred to me this morning that, perhaps, my expectations of others are skewed to the high side. It takes all different types of people to make up this world. Some are nicer than others. Some are more conscientious than others. Some are more dependable than others. Some are better friends than others. Yet, without the questionable people we encounter, would it be possible to truly appreciate the great people in our lives? Probably not.

To say I'm going to lower my expectations of others is a bit much - I *am* the eternal optimist, after all! But...I'm going to try not to be so surprised or disappointed when those expectations aren't met to my standards. I've said it before, and I'll say it again - you never know what demons other people are battling. By expecting that others could always use one more compassionate, understanding person in their life, I am freed to be the kindness they may so desperately need.

In the end, only kindness matters

I've been having an interesting email exchange with a friend of mine tonight, and it's gotten me to thinking:

When did being kind become the exception, not the rule?

I like to think of myself as a generally kind person, though I'm sure there are those who would beg to differ. I cannot, however, be deliberately mean or unkind to others just for the heck of it. I don't understand those who can.

The negative energy that is wasted when we focus on pettiness, shrewdness, talking behind the backs of others, and so on, is palpable in today's world. There is enough unpleasantness in this world without us having to make an effort to contribute to it.

Instead of always dwelling on the negative or spinning situations to extract the worst, why not act with kindness? Take the higher road. Be the bigger person.

Call to check on your friends. Send angel kisses via texts. Send a quick email just to say hello. You never know what demons other people are facing. In their life, you may be the only positive encounter they have that day.

You have a choice.

Choose kindness.