Those of you who are my friends on myspace already know this about me - I keep a daily "thankful" blog. It's something I started about 8 months ago, when I was going through a tough patch in my life. Each evening, I reflect on 5 things for which I'm thankful each day.
I am leaving on a mini-vacay first thing tomorrow morning, so I themed tonight's blog about some of the trips I've been blessed to take over the years. I wanted to repost that blog here, with the hopes that you would share some of your favorite travel memories with me! I hope you enjoy. See you when I get home!
~ C
I am thankful...........8/28/08
Current mood: blessed
Category: Life
Hello!
Whew - down to the wire tonight! Since I am leaving on a mini-vacay in the morning, I thought I'd give thanks for some wonderful trips I've been fortunate to make over the years.
Today, I am thankful.............
................for the trip to Europe in 1991. My grandmother took my parents and me on a tour of Europe, and the highpoint was seeing the Passion Play in Germany. It truly was the trip of a lifetime.
................for the trip to Los Angeles in 1997. When Jim and I were dating, he took me to LA when I graduated from college. He said the ride from the airport to Simi Valley was spectacular, because it was the only time he could recall me actually being speechless. Heh. In spite of all of the flaws that ended our marriage, Jim and I made some fabulous trips together.
................for the band trip to Orlando our senior year of high school. Elisa and I got a room to ourselves and had the best time. Remember the "Picture Spots", Li Li? Remember using my leg as a guitar and head banging on the bus? How about being stunt chicks? Yeah, that was an awesome trip.
................for the trip to Paris for New Year's 1994. I was part of the Youth Music All-Stars band, and we were in two parades in France. Mock band geeks all you want...........we get to take the best trips! :P
................for the trip to New York City for Thanksgiving in 1995. I went with my parents, and my then-boyfriend came along. Waking up in my very own room in the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel on Thanksgiving morning........watching the Macy's Parade pass by from the sidewalks of Manhattan.........getting to see 4 Broadway shows in 3 days.........standing atop the Empire State Building at midnight with the snow falling.........this is probably my all-time favorite trip....so far!
I am very blessed to be traveling to the beach for a few days with my dear friend Lynn. I am looking forward to recharging my soul. I hope you have a lovely weekend. What are YOU thankful for?
Friday, August 29, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Things I've learned along the way......
Some thoughts and observations, for no reason in particular..........
* Learn to laugh at yourself. Other people will be laughing at you, so you might as well join them!
* Find reasons to be thankful in all circumstances. It is the best mood elevator you will find.
* Quit worrying about what people think about you. Sing karaoke. Dance in public. Risk making a fool of yourself. If you sit on the sidelines, the only one who's losing out is you.
* Be with the person who makes you laugh, not who makes you cry.
* Realize that it's okay to have disagreements (okay, fights!) with your friends. The key is to work through the issues, agree to disagree, and move on. Don't dwell.
* You don't have to forget, but you do have to forgive.
* Pizza tastes best the next morning, out of the fridge.
* How badly you need to go is inversely proportional to the distance you are from a bathroom.
* When you are trying to impress a new visitor to your home, your pet will inevitably position themselves directly in front of said visitor and lavish their most disgusting parts with a sensual tongue bath.
* You are never as discreet as you believe you are.
* Mothers just know.
What have YOU learned along the way? Tell me! I wanna learn, too!
* Learn to laugh at yourself. Other people will be laughing at you, so you might as well join them!
* Find reasons to be thankful in all circumstances. It is the best mood elevator you will find.
* Quit worrying about what people think about you. Sing karaoke. Dance in public. Risk making a fool of yourself. If you sit on the sidelines, the only one who's losing out is you.
* Be with the person who makes you laugh, not who makes you cry.
* Realize that it's okay to have disagreements (okay, fights!) with your friends. The key is to work through the issues, agree to disagree, and move on. Don't dwell.
* You don't have to forget, but you do have to forgive.
* Pizza tastes best the next morning, out of the fridge.
* How badly you need to go is inversely proportional to the distance you are from a bathroom.
* When you are trying to impress a new visitor to your home, your pet will inevitably position themselves directly in front of said visitor and lavish their most disgusting parts with a sensual tongue bath.
* You are never as discreet as you believe you are.
* Mothers just know.
What have YOU learned along the way? Tell me! I wanna learn, too!
Monday, August 25, 2008
It's not me, it's you...and other things I wish I could say...
I hate that I am so incredibly polite sometimes. Really. Having been raised a "proper lady" in the South, I almost always bite my tongue or sugarcoat bad / awkward / uncomfortable news when it must be delivered. As a result, my tongue is nearly severed, and I am now writing this open letter to any and all possible men in my future.
Dear Prospective New Man in My Life,
Let's cut right to the chase. There are some things about me that you need to know, but which I'm scared to tell you. I hope that you are a mind-reader. It will come in handy. Here, in no particular order, is a cheat sheet of all the baffling things about me that you need to keep in mind.
* I'm pretty new at the dating thing. I dated and was married to my ex-husband for more than 10 years. The last time I seriously dated was in the mid-90's. Things have changed, and I have yet to figure out the new rules. I abhor games. If you say you're going to call, call. If I say I'm going to call, I'll call. I am an extremely black-and-white person, and I don't do well with shades of gray. Say what you mean, and mean what you say.....just don't say it mean! :)
* Speaking of games, let me be very clear on this point again - I detest games!!! If I like you, you will know it because I wear my feelings on my sleeve. If you like me, I expect that you will either tell me or demonstrate your affection in an obvious way. What I do NOT want is for you to lavish me with affection one day, and then run screaming the next without an explanation as to why. I'm a big girl. I can handle those 6 words made famous on SATC: "I'm just not that into you." I have much more respect for a man who is forthcoming with not-so-great news, than for one who hides his head in the sand and hopes the situation will take care of itself.
* I am an open book. I am not good at hiding my emotions, and I am not good at keeping my opinions to myself. I am strong in my convictions and will stand up for myself.
* Do not confuse my strength of conviction for cold-hearted bitch. I am incredibly vulnerable, and if you're lucky, you will get to see that vulnerability first hand. Having been separated and divorced for 2.5 years, I have become very independent. I am used to opening my own doors, carrying my own groceries, supporting myself financially, and solving my own problems. HOWEVER!!!! Please indulge the very womanly side of me by offering to do these chivalrous gestures for me. I love to be romanced. I'm not into PC bullshit. I will not be offended if you help me into the car or offer to buy me dinner. I only ask that you not take offense when I sometimes beat you to the punch, as it's been a long time since I've depended on anyone but myself.
* I have a life of my own, but when I get involved with you in a new relationship, I make room for you in it. This does not mean that my life has suddenly become all about you and that I have given up my identity. It is simply me putting myself out there the only way I know how. You will learn that I am the girl who gives 110% of herself for her friends, and you are now my friend. That does not make me a doormat. I feel strongly that we are all put on this earth to take care of one another, and I am an incredibly giving person. I hope that you are strong enough to not be threatened by my desires to help you, and I hope that you will offer your help in return.
* Be who you are, and be it 100%. I promise to do the same in return.
* Realize that, when you and I are first getting to know each other, I will probably freak out and obsess over conversations that we've had, and try to discern every possible hidden meaning of every word you've uttered. That's part of being a chick. We all do it. Why do you think women go to the restroom in packs? It's to have intense "what did he mean by that?" conversations! Silly? Of course. Reality? Yep.
* Most importantly, realize that I am the eternal optimist. I have loved, lost, loved again, and lost some more. However, I *still* believe in love. I even have a personal saying: "I still believe in fairy tales, once upon a time, and happily ever after." That is NOT to be confused with a complete lack of understanding of reality. I know that life is not a fairy tale. I know that each relationship will have its own unique set of challenges, trying times, pitfalls, and other unpleasantness. What I also know, though, is that - should I be lucky enough to find my Prince Charming - the good will outweigh the bad, and I will be able to write my own fairy tale, with my own version of "happily ever after".
So that's it. Have I scared you completely away? I hope not. That was never the intent. I just wanted you to have a glimpse into the real me.
Sincerely,
Me
Dear Prospective New Man in My Life,
Let's cut right to the chase. There are some things about me that you need to know, but which I'm scared to tell you. I hope that you are a mind-reader. It will come in handy. Here, in no particular order, is a cheat sheet of all the baffling things about me that you need to keep in mind.
* I'm pretty new at the dating thing. I dated and was married to my ex-husband for more than 10 years. The last time I seriously dated was in the mid-90's. Things have changed, and I have yet to figure out the new rules. I abhor games. If you say you're going to call, call. If I say I'm going to call, I'll call. I am an extremely black-and-white person, and I don't do well with shades of gray. Say what you mean, and mean what you say.....just don't say it mean! :)
* Speaking of games, let me be very clear on this point again - I detest games!!! If I like you, you will know it because I wear my feelings on my sleeve. If you like me, I expect that you will either tell me or demonstrate your affection in an obvious way. What I do NOT want is for you to lavish me with affection one day, and then run screaming the next without an explanation as to why. I'm a big girl. I can handle those 6 words made famous on SATC: "I'm just not that into you." I have much more respect for a man who is forthcoming with not-so-great news, than for one who hides his head in the sand and hopes the situation will take care of itself.
* I am an open book. I am not good at hiding my emotions, and I am not good at keeping my opinions to myself. I am strong in my convictions and will stand up for myself.
* Do not confuse my strength of conviction for cold-hearted bitch. I am incredibly vulnerable, and if you're lucky, you will get to see that vulnerability first hand. Having been separated and divorced for 2.5 years, I have become very independent. I am used to opening my own doors, carrying my own groceries, supporting myself financially, and solving my own problems. HOWEVER!!!! Please indulge the very womanly side of me by offering to do these chivalrous gestures for me. I love to be romanced. I'm not into PC bullshit. I will not be offended if you help me into the car or offer to buy me dinner. I only ask that you not take offense when I sometimes beat you to the punch, as it's been a long time since I've depended on anyone but myself.
* I have a life of my own, but when I get involved with you in a new relationship, I make room for you in it. This does not mean that my life has suddenly become all about you and that I have given up my identity. It is simply me putting myself out there the only way I know how. You will learn that I am the girl who gives 110% of herself for her friends, and you are now my friend. That does not make me a doormat. I feel strongly that we are all put on this earth to take care of one another, and I am an incredibly giving person. I hope that you are strong enough to not be threatened by my desires to help you, and I hope that you will offer your help in return.
* Be who you are, and be it 100%. I promise to do the same in return.
* Realize that, when you and I are first getting to know each other, I will probably freak out and obsess over conversations that we've had, and try to discern every possible hidden meaning of every word you've uttered. That's part of being a chick. We all do it. Why do you think women go to the restroom in packs? It's to have intense "what did he mean by that?" conversations! Silly? Of course. Reality? Yep.
* Most importantly, realize that I am the eternal optimist. I have loved, lost, loved again, and lost some more. However, I *still* believe in love. I even have a personal saying: "I still believe in fairy tales, once upon a time, and happily ever after." That is NOT to be confused with a complete lack of understanding of reality. I know that life is not a fairy tale. I know that each relationship will have its own unique set of challenges, trying times, pitfalls, and other unpleasantness. What I also know, though, is that - should I be lucky enough to find my Prince Charming - the good will outweigh the bad, and I will be able to write my own fairy tale, with my own version of "happily ever after".
So that's it. Have I scared you completely away? I hope not. That was never the intent. I just wanted you to have a glimpse into the real me.
Sincerely,
Me
Monday, August 18, 2008
Breaking the addiction
There are all kinds of habits and addictions that people struggle with.
Drugs.
Alcohol.
Violence.
Money.
Sex.
Often, these addictions go hand-in-hand with one another. Even more often, the addict doesn't even realize that he's addicted to his vice(s) of choice. All the addict knows is there's a pattern and habit to his behaviors, and there's a heady rush as a payoff for the choices he's making.
So. How to break the habit and kick the addiction?
First - figure out why you're addicted in the first place. Have you become comfortable and complacent with the status quo? Is the payoff worth the risk? Are you masking pain? Are you motivated by fear? Are you unwilling to let go of the version of your past that you're seeing through rose-colored glasses?
It's very hard to let go of addictive behavior if you don't have something - or someone - new to put in its place. This is why you see so many people who are trying to quit smoking going around with suckers in their mouths. Alcoholics and drug addicts go to meetings to replace their addictions.
What happens when your addiction is not a thing, but rather, a someone?
I've been there.
Even when I knew I was in a relationship that was horrible for me, it took me a long, long time to walk away, and even longer to stop the contact. I was convinced that, without my husband, I would essentially cease to exist. My life was his life. My plans were his plans. He knew me better than I knew myself. I thought our lives were unbreakably intertwined with one another's. Even when I moved out, we stayed in close contact. We became closer after the separation than we had been married.
However.
After time, distance, and new people in my life, I finally realized I had to let go of my addiction to him. It wasn't so much that I wanted to BE with my ex-husband; rather, it was a habit that I had been in for more than 10 years. With my ex, I didn't have to learn anything new. I didn't have to try. I didn't have to open myself up to vulnerability, scrutiny, rejection, and all of the other scary things that go with moving on.
And how very sad that I wasted so much time with that habit and addiction.
Moving on wasn't easy, but it was worth it.
My name is Carrie, and I'm a recovered addict.
Drugs.
Alcohol.
Violence.
Money.
Sex.
Often, these addictions go hand-in-hand with one another. Even more often, the addict doesn't even realize that he's addicted to his vice(s) of choice. All the addict knows is there's a pattern and habit to his behaviors, and there's a heady rush as a payoff for the choices he's making.
So. How to break the habit and kick the addiction?
First - figure out why you're addicted in the first place. Have you become comfortable and complacent with the status quo? Is the payoff worth the risk? Are you masking pain? Are you motivated by fear? Are you unwilling to let go of the version of your past that you're seeing through rose-colored glasses?
It's very hard to let go of addictive behavior if you don't have something - or someone - new to put in its place. This is why you see so many people who are trying to quit smoking going around with suckers in their mouths. Alcoholics and drug addicts go to meetings to replace their addictions.
What happens when your addiction is not a thing, but rather, a someone?
I've been there.
Even when I knew I was in a relationship that was horrible for me, it took me a long, long time to walk away, and even longer to stop the contact. I was convinced that, without my husband, I would essentially cease to exist. My life was his life. My plans were his plans. He knew me better than I knew myself. I thought our lives were unbreakably intertwined with one another's. Even when I moved out, we stayed in close contact. We became closer after the separation than we had been married.
However.
After time, distance, and new people in my life, I finally realized I had to let go of my addiction to him. It wasn't so much that I wanted to BE with my ex-husband; rather, it was a habit that I had been in for more than 10 years. With my ex, I didn't have to learn anything new. I didn't have to try. I didn't have to open myself up to vulnerability, scrutiny, rejection, and all of the other scary things that go with moving on.
And how very sad that I wasted so much time with that habit and addiction.
Moving on wasn't easy, but it was worth it.
My name is Carrie, and I'm a recovered addict.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Life has come full circle
I love irony. Few things amuse me more than watching Karma work her magic in my life, and in the lives of others. Recently, my life has come full circle, and the irony involved is un-friggin'-believable.
First, as everyone knows, I've been testing the waters in the dating world again......usually with rather hysterical outcomes. Recently I went out with a guy who shared the same name (first AND last) as one of the very first boys I ever dated (about 15 years ago!!!). Weird. Very, very weird. It was like déjà vu all over again!
Second (and this is the truly ironic part).........the awkward-and-never-publicly-recognized-event-of-2007 ended, well, awkwardly last winter. I had to face the fact that he was crazy for someone, but that someone wasn't me. For a long time, I struggled to see things from the other woman's perspective. As good 'ole irony would have it, I now have first hand experience in this. I got the chance to slip into her shoes (albeit, the cast members were much different this time around!). Being a newcomer to an established relationship between 2 people can be incredibly tricky for all parties. I learned a lot from the mistakes I made many months ago, and I was able to use that knowledge in the latter scenario. I have a newfound understanding and appreciation for all that transpired.
Third - and finally - the aforementioned fella (from 2007). I hadn't seen him in months, and then I did. I was surprised to realize I didn't feel anything towards him. No love. No anger. No longing. No let-me-punch-you-in-the-face. Nothing. I felt, "wow. We both survived and moved on. He's happy. I'm happy. He's okay. I'm okay." And you know what? It really is.
Irony is the great equalizer.
Clear as mud? I thought so.
First, as everyone knows, I've been testing the waters in the dating world again......usually with rather hysterical outcomes. Recently I went out with a guy who shared the same name (first AND last) as one of the very first boys I ever dated (about 15 years ago!!!). Weird. Very, very weird. It was like déjà vu all over again!
Second (and this is the truly ironic part).........the awkward-and-never-publicly-recognized-event-of-2007 ended, well, awkwardly last winter. I had to face the fact that he was crazy for someone, but that someone wasn't me. For a long time, I struggled to see things from the other woman's perspective. As good 'ole irony would have it, I now have first hand experience in this. I got the chance to slip into her shoes (albeit, the cast members were much different this time around!). Being a newcomer to an established relationship between 2 people can be incredibly tricky for all parties. I learned a lot from the mistakes I made many months ago, and I was able to use that knowledge in the latter scenario. I have a newfound understanding and appreciation for all that transpired.
Third - and finally - the aforementioned fella (from 2007). I hadn't seen him in months, and then I did. I was surprised to realize I didn't feel anything towards him. No love. No anger. No longing. No let-me-punch-you-in-the-face. Nothing. I felt, "wow. We both survived and moved on. He's happy. I'm happy. He's okay. I'm okay." And you know what? It really is.
Irony is the great equalizer.
Clear as mud? I thought so.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
I am SUCH a dirty girl! ;)
Come now, dear readers.......you didn't think I would be blogging about my freaky-ness, now did you? Hahahahahahaha.
Witness proof that the pampered, pristine, princess Carrie can - in fact - roll up her sleeves, do actual work, and manage to get her hands dirty every once in a while. We are smack dab in the middle of our annual physical inventory at work, and it's an "all hands on deck" situation. Everyone pitches in and counts. Everyone. Even me. Shocking, I know. That other picture....well....did you ever wonder what 300 O-Rings look like? Wonder no more. The picture of me with the black hands? Yep, that's courtesy of those stupid O-Rings. Ugh.
I truly was a dirty girl.
Heh.
For those of you who thought the title of this blog might offer more, errrr, interesting reading.......don't fear. There is new excitement in my life. The kind of excitement that has me flushed and giggly and consumed with inappropriate thoughts at inopportune times. The kind of excitement that led me to make an impromptu decision yesterday that led to a very late night last night (after the requisite appearance at my Dad's birthday party, of course!).
The kind of excitement that would make dirty girls proud.
;)
Witness proof that the pampered, pristine, princess Carrie can - in fact - roll up her sleeves, do actual work, and manage to get her hands dirty every once in a while. We are smack dab in the middle of our annual physical inventory at work, and it's an "all hands on deck" situation. Everyone pitches in and counts. Everyone. Even me. Shocking, I know. That other picture....well....did you ever wonder what 300 O-Rings look like? Wonder no more. The picture of me with the black hands? Yep, that's courtesy of those stupid O-Rings. Ugh.
I truly was a dirty girl.
Heh.
For those of you who thought the title of this blog might offer more, errrr, interesting reading.......don't fear. There is new excitement in my life. The kind of excitement that has me flushed and giggly and consumed with inappropriate thoughts at inopportune times. The kind of excitement that led me to make an impromptu decision yesterday that led to a very late night last night (after the requisite appearance at my Dad's birthday party, of course!).
The kind of excitement that would make dirty girls proud.
;)
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Give us this day, our daily rants.....
I need to vent. Rant, really. I'm not annoyed by anything in particular, yet I'm annoyed by everything right now. Sometimes I think I must be the only person in the world to be bothered by some of these things. We all have our things that annoy / irritate / perplex us. Here are a few of mine:
* I get annoyed when the congregation at my church breaks into applause. Seriously. I attend a formal, conservative church. We had a lovely guest soloist this morning, and when she finished her song, I was thinking about how serene I felt, and how there was an atmosphere of holiness surrounding me. Then everyone started clapping. It's CHURCH, people...not a talent show. I'm there to worship - not feel like I'm witnessing American Idol.
* Kids who speak with poor grammar grate on my nerves. Recently, I was in a situation where there were lots of kids - ages 3-10 - running around everywhere. One asked another where the juice could be found. "We ain't got none" was the reply from the mouth of a 5 year old. :::shiver:::
* General passive-aggressiveness. I know, I know - I have been guilty of this myself. To quote Addison Montgomery on Grey's, "There is a land called Passive Aggressivia, and I am their queen." Still. It annoys me to witness it, especially amongst people who are well past the age of 38. If you have something to say to someone, man-up, grow a set, and SAY IT!!! Don't rely on social networking sites and/or other people to be your indirect messenger. Nothing gets resolved that way......and now that I'm pissed, it probably never will. (Okay, so this is more a situation-specific rant rather than a generality.......)
* Political campaign ads on television. Need I say more?
* Temps in the 90s, with 85% humidity. Also known as summer in East Tennessee.
* Why is it that, no matter how much money I spend buying all of the same products my stylist uses, I can NEVER get my hair to look as fabulous as she can? I feel strongly that this is directly related to the previous bullet point, but still.......
* There will never be a day that I am okay with seeing people misuse words like "your" and "you're", "to" and "too", "there" and "their". Cringe-worthy.
Okay. I feel better. It was good to get that off my chest.
What weird stuff bugs you? Tell me. We're in the trust tree, I promise.
* I get annoyed when the congregation at my church breaks into applause. Seriously. I attend a formal, conservative church. We had a lovely guest soloist this morning, and when she finished her song, I was thinking about how serene I felt, and how there was an atmosphere of holiness surrounding me. Then everyone started clapping. It's CHURCH, people...not a talent show. I'm there to worship - not feel like I'm witnessing American Idol.
* Kids who speak with poor grammar grate on my nerves. Recently, I was in a situation where there were lots of kids - ages 3-10 - running around everywhere. One asked another where the juice could be found. "We ain't got none" was the reply from the mouth of a 5 year old. :::shiver:::
* General passive-aggressiveness. I know, I know - I have been guilty of this myself. To quote Addison Montgomery on Grey's, "There is a land called Passive Aggressivia, and I am their queen." Still. It annoys me to witness it, especially amongst people who are well past the age of 38. If you have something to say to someone, man-up, grow a set, and SAY IT!!! Don't rely on social networking sites and/or other people to be your indirect messenger. Nothing gets resolved that way......and now that I'm pissed, it probably never will. (Okay, so this is more a situation-specific rant rather than a generality.......)
* Political campaign ads on television. Need I say more?
* Temps in the 90s, with 85% humidity. Also known as summer in East Tennessee.
* Why is it that, no matter how much money I spend buying all of the same products my stylist uses, I can NEVER get my hair to look as fabulous as she can? I feel strongly that this is directly related to the previous bullet point, but still.......
* There will never be a day that I am okay with seeing people misuse words like "your" and "you're", "to" and "too", "there" and "their". Cringe-worthy.
Okay. I feel better. It was good to get that off my chest.
What weird stuff bugs you? Tell me. We're in the trust tree, I promise.
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